Family Affair

Bill decides to send Cissy to a private girls' school in Connecticut, and even though she would prefer to attend high school locally, she reluctantly agrees to go, thinking Bill wants to get her out of the way.

Mr. French is chosen for an ad for marmalade and is a huge promotion success, until he tastes the marmalade that he is hawking.

Buffy doesn't like the new changes in her and Cissy's bedroom and refuses to ever step foot in it.

Buffy's doll, Mrs. Beasley, gets knocked out of the apartment window by accident and Buffy goes up at arms about the whole thing. She fnds out that a little girl owns a doll that looks just like her lost Mrs. Beasley, and realizes that it is not her doll. Suddenly, the real Mrs. Beasley doll is found in a trash bin.

Mr. French gets Lebanese cooking lessons from a Middle Eastern restaurant owner named Nural Shpeni, and her family forces Mr. French to marry her, whether he wants to or not.

Buffy and Jody have been spending a lot a time with each other at school, and it is a major concern for the vice principal and a child psychologist who states that Buffy and Jody need to make friends and join in with other children.

When an old flame steps back into Bill's life, the children think that he will get married and send them back to Indiana.

Bill gets a chance to work with a friend in Mexico on a job, but his trip is cut short when Mr. French comes down with the flu and difficultt in keeping touch with the family.

When Jody sees a friend getting spanked by his father, his father tells him that he punishes him out of love. So Jody takes it upon himself to earn a spanking from Uncle Bill to see if he loves him enough to enforce physical punishment.

Cissy worships a teacher named Julian Hill and spouts his theories all through the household. Bill invites the teacher to dinner and Cissy sees that he is not the man that she worships so dearly when he goes off on Buffy and Jody for an innocent spill.

Jody's allusion about being a constuction worker leads him to ""gaining"" a job with a constuction worker who Bill is trying to get a job with.

Cissy is disheartened because she will be left out of a mother-daughter event at school, and she doesn't tell Bill what is wrong with her.

Bill and the whole family are seeing the Gaynors off on their cruise. Buffy and Jody think that Bill is having dinner with them, but when they find out the thuth, they are left on the dock by themselves. Mrs. Gaynor sees them and calls Bill, but Buffy and Jody run off in the city to find the owner of some money they found on the dock.

Bill plans to do some serious bonding with Jody by taking him on a business trip, but Murphy's Law plagues the trip. But Jody states that just being with Bill is exciting enough.

Buffy and Jody are placed in a fast-learning portion of their grade, but Bill is spending his time with a woman who is quite uncertain about what she wants. The twins get a friendly window-washer to help them with their work, but a call from the school to Bill makes him see that the children are more important than a hot date.

A lesson to be learned in this episode: Helping people is good, but it only goes but so far. The family learns this the hard way. Mr. French helps out a maid who is very bad with housekeeping by covering up her mistakes, and this charade goes on until she is hired by a guest who is throwing a party. Eventually, she gets fired and she gets on Mr. French. Bill does the same thing when he takes over the twins' school project, and he gets credit. Cissy tells them all about how important it is to get involved in the family because they had none when they were in Terre Haute.

Aunt Fran's back and she wants the kids to come back with her. She believes that Bill will not be a suitable person for the kids. Of course, Fran thinks that this fact is confirmed when Buffy thinks that Bill doesn't want them there. When teh family gets ready to leave, Buffy sees the light and changes her mind.

Buffy gets chosen for a lead in a ballet, which is totally annoying for a mother whose little girl, Melissa, was passed over for a complete stranger. She has reason to suspect foul play when the casting director is Bill's old girlfriend Margo, but she knew nothing about Bill's children until after she had cast the roles. Then Margo tells Buffy that she will be a big success and travel all over the world. Buffy gets the idea that it means right away, so she botches up her role in the production so that she will not be separated from her new family.

Buffy and Jody meets a new girl named Marilyn, who is the daughter of a Chinese diplomat and speaks no English. Mr. French tries to work out his Cantonese and unknowingly insults her.

Buffy and Jody play matchmaker for Mr. French, but he thinks that they do not want him around because he punished them so severely.

Bill sends the kids away for a week-long trip at camp because they are driving him up the wall. He then starts to miss them when he goes back to his bachelor life.

Mr. French gets a visit from his nephew David. French is shocked when David announces that he wants to become a dentist, but the final straw comes when he goes out with Cissy.

The twins win a baby lamb in a cereal contest, which is not a good thing if your neighbors are trying to sleep.

Bill takes the twins to the rodeo where he meets his old friend Gabe, whom he invites to stay with them. The twins are mesmerized at the thought of meeting a real live cowboy, and Gabe takes them under his wing. Of course, Bill thinks that they like Gabe more than they like him. But the twins tell him that Bill will always come first in their lives.

Buffy and Jody want to make an award for Bill for being the best uncle, but they fall allergic to the clay they are making the award with. Bill thinks that the allergies are caused by irregular parenting, but the doctor states that they are allergic to modeling clay.

Cissy has trouble finding a date for the Sadie Hawkins dance, and asks a boy who throws her a curve because of a broken leg. Thinking that he is lying, she feels miserable. Bill suggests that an actor friend of his who is visiting escort her to the dance, but Cissy turns him down. Then, Cissy sees that Virgil really does has a broken leg, and she is happy that he didn't lie to her.