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The Godolkin University Police Department is seeking any information on the person or persons who violated the Polarity statue in the groin/genital area last night outside the School of Crimefighting. If you have any information, please contact @GodUPD.

REWARD! Last night, The Incredible Steve attended an off-campus party where his penis was lost. He just wants it back, so his family is offering a $10,000 REWARD for its safe return, no questions asked. Please contact the Godolkin Daily Classifieds Office or the Lost-and-Found Desk at the Godolkin Student Union.

The Godolkin University School of Crimefighting is excited to announce its newest course offering: THE PSYCHOLOGY OF SUPERVILLAINS! By studying the most well-known example of a supervillain, Soldier Boy, the course will investigate what makes a superhero go bad, from their flawed origin story, to the vices and moral compromises that lead them astray! Space is limited! Sign up today!

Calling all God U #Hometeamers! Today we’re protesting Socialist Victoria Neuman’s town hall on campus! Let’s show Neuman and her Supe-hating woke mob that we won’t put up with their anti-Superhero agenda! THEY WILL NOT CONTROL US! #MakeAmericaSuperAgain #SupeLivesMatter

If you or a human loved one have been injured or killed while working at Godolkin University, you may be entitled to financial compensation. Hundreds of human employees have been victimized by Godolkin students, but the law offices of Bremmer & Bremmer have won them millions in personal injury and wrongful death lawsuits. Contact us for a free consultation at 1-888-177-2774. Know your rights!