Captain Flinn and the Pirate Dinosaurs

When Flinn and crew (the goodest goodies) hear a wailing and a sobbing coming from the sea they find a pirate in distress. His name is Captain Gurgleguts, and the pirate dinosaurs have stolen all his treasure. He's very afraid that he'll be in big trouble with his mummy. They set sail of Bag O' Bones Island, the home of those rotten rascals, and follow a trail of (stolen) gold doubloons up the beach and into the jungle. But before they know it Gurgleguts as been 'hornswaggled' himself and the pirate dinosaurs have him tied to a spit, preparing to roast him and eat him for lunch - with ketchup. Brave Captain Flinn immediately confronts them and demands they release Gurgleguts and return his stolen treasure. A swashbuckle ensues, but when Flinn's side is winning, Captain T Rex calls on his cousin, Gigantosaurus, the biggest dinosaur in the Seven-and-a-half seas.

The pirate dinosaurs are spotted off the starboard bow, and Flinn's crew prepares for attack, but this time the pirate dinosaurs have come to ask for help. They are infested with sea ferrets, which are just like real ferrets only 'ticklier' and 'bitier'. Tom sprinkles them with garlic powder, and it works a treat. In return the rotten rascals are so grateful that they promise to clean Flinn's ship from top to bottom. Indeed they do, while Flinn and crew relax on deck. Soon Violet is missing the 'bad old days' when they had plenty of fighting fun. But not for long! Stubble raises a cry of alarm... those rotten reptiles have stolen his custard recipe! Hurrah! But it has a treasure map on the back! The treasure is the Statue on Gold the top of the volcanic island that is home to the village of Sea Shanty, home of all jigs, hornpipes and sea shanties. If the treasure is stolen, the volcano will erupt and the innocent village folk will be destroyed! Oh no!

Stubble arrives on deck with a fresh batch of chilli con custard for morning tea. After trying it, they are all hiccupping and burping with its burning effects. Luckily a huge sea monster arrives and distracts them, getting rid of their hiccups. But investigation proves it's not a sea monster, it's a huge pair of underpants. They soon spy a huge vest and other huge items of clothing... all leading to bag O Bones Island, which has a huge mountain in the middle of the island, which they have never noticed before. Climbing onto the island, Flinn and crew notice rumbling and other strange noises. At the base of the mountain they discover it's not a mountain, it's actually Gigantosaurus, who has eaten so much that he's split all his clothes and has the baddest bellyache ever. If they help him he promises not to eat them too. When Tom listens to his tummy with a stethoscope he hears the pirate dinosaurs inside. Gigantosaurus remembers that he ate them for dessert.

Tom raises the alarm. A hurricane-typhoon-ado is on its way! Flinn steers the Acorn to the nearest shelter. Unfortunately the nearest sheltered bay is the notorious Thunder Alley... full of treacherous rocks, stinky gasses and falling coconuts! Just when things look like they can't get much worse Violet calls: 'Pirate dinosaurs off the starboard bow!' It seems the rascal reptiles have the same idea. The two ships collide, the collision knocks them into Thunder Alley and the Captains are bumped onto the opposite ships. T Rex decides this is the perfect opportunity to take over the Acorn. Flinn's crew warns T Rex about the treacherous rocks ahead of them in the fog, but he's not worried (too busy being greedy see the danger). Ignoring Tom's advice to work together, he steers the ship solo into the rocks. The first rule of the sea is that 'a crew must do exactly what its Captain says.' Bang! Bump! Thump! The Acorn bashes its way blindly into rocks and is almost dashed to pieces.

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Captain Flinn attempts his latest ship-boarding move. He boards the ship but face plants a mast. The gang decides that they need to find a new pirate adventure before Captain Flinn does himself an injury. Suddenly they hear sobbing across the waves - it's Gurgleguts. The pirate dinosaurs have robbed him. Those marauding meanies stole his mummy's ornamental teaspoon set. Stubble is worried about how Gurgleguts will eat his custard without the spoons but Gurgleguts is more concerned with what his Mummy say when she finds out where her spoons are gone. Flinn vows to search the seven and a half seas through night and day until they finds the teaspoons. The gang sets sail for Bag O' Bones Island but Tom's unwittingly leads them to Bag O' Bins Island and then Bag O' Banana's island. Tom is sure he has the navigation right this time, but he leads them to the precipice of a waterfall. They swerve, narrowly escaping the fall.

The pirate dinosaurs are suspiciously missing and things are way too quiet. That's because they are having a birthday party for T Rex. But T Rex is not a happy dinosaur, he doesn't like his cake, his present or his piñata (Stig). Luckily, he DOES like his balloons... so much so that he demands more and the dino crew blows up so many that their ship flies up, up and away....! T Rex is delighted, and declares they should become 'pirates of the sky' and pillage pirate ships from the air where they can't be seen. 'How', asks Stig? 'With bungee ropes', answers T Rex as he pushes him overboard. CRASH! Stig thuds into the deck of a pirate ship. The bungee rope was too long. But soon the bungee pillaging is working a treat and the pirate dinosaurs amass piles of stolen treasure. Flinn and his crew are mystified as to where their future fossil foes are... until he finally spies them in the air.

Captain Flinn and the gang are served up Stubble's new culinary creation, Broccoli flavoured custard. Captain Flinn distracts Stubble while Violet grabs the offending bowls of broccoli shock and hunts for a place to dispose of them. She finds a deep dark hole, perfect. Stubble sees the bowls gone and is so delighted, he bursts into tears - he thinks they have lapped it all up. He steers the Acorn through teary eyes and Violet loses her balance below deck and falls into a deep dark hole where she finds even more custard. The rest of the crew launch a search party. They split up and search the ship from top to bottom. During the search they find everything but Violet - Tom finds his pocket size pirate fixer upper and Flinn finds his favourite book. '101 ways to swashbuckle a pirate dinosaur'. Pearl runs into a rat family eating dinner. They snub her request to join them so she makes off with their baked beans.

Pearl awakes in fright and declares there is a sea monster in the mist near the ship. Investigations only reveal Captain Gurgleguts, who insists he was attacked by a sea monster, who stole his (mummy's) pirate ship. As they search the Seven-and-a-half-seas, they interview pirates who describe a sea monster more terrible than you could imagine. Confusion reins as Flinn thinks he sights the beast and sets sail 'for their finest hour' to chase it and catch it. Pearl gets Flinn's attention to inform him they are going... the wrong way! The monster is attacking a pirate ship behind them. Captain Flinn demands the monster surrender, but it doesn't obey. Pearl notices something unusual. Do sea monsters have pedals...? As Tom snags the monster with a rope there is a loud RIIIIIIP and the head comes off the monster to reveal the pirate dinosaurs in a pedal-powered fake, which they are using to terrorize and pillage pirate ships across the seas.

There's a wild storm on the Seven-and-a-half seas. Suddenly Violet cries: 'Tornado off the starboard bow!' and a tornado is on its way. Flinn instructs his crew to tie themselves to the ship. But Tom is so fascinated by the tornado that he's too busy recording information to tie himself down, and he gets literally blown off the deck. Luckily he lands on another ship. Unluckily it's those rotten rascally reptiles, the pirate dinosaurs' ship. Tom is knocked out cold, and when he comes too, he's got amnesia. As the other pirate dinosaurs wonder how best to eat him, T Rex gets the idea to tell Tom that he's a dinosaur, a Tom-osaurus, the fiercest dinosaur ever. Tom believes him, and his education begins, beginning with their bitter pirate foes, the dreaded Captain Flinn and the crew of the Acorn. Meanwhile, on the Acorn, Flinn and the others have decided to use one of Tom's own inventions to find him. They find his 'stinkometer' and give it a whiff of one of Tom's T Shirts.

Stubble is fishing for octopus. He hooks a message in a bottle. It's a cry for help from a girl called Buttercup who has been kidnapped by the pirate dinosaurs. Flinn and his crew hasten to Bag O' Bones Island, where they see a girl tied to a pole. Closer inspection reveals it's no girl, it's an over-acting Terry in a frock and a wig: 'Boo hoo hooooo!' It's an ambush! Flinn and crew are captured. T Rex explains that he captured them to help him find the 'Magic Cutlass', which used to belong to pirate Captain Purplebeard, and its magic powers made him invincible. It's now on a shipwreck under the sea, and T Rex has a map. He wants the cutlass so he can become invincible too. T Rex can't swim because of his silly little arms. Flinn agrees to go, or T Rex will cook his friends into savoury muffins (with ketchup). Flinn returns with the cutlass. T Rex is disappointed, it's not magic! It's blunt and rusty and doesn't seem to do anything.

Those 'would be' gourmet Pirate Dinosaurs have asked Gigantosaurus over to dinner - and they desperately want to impress him. He is a 'carnivore-seur' of fine ketchups after all. They try to kidnap well-known polite pirate, Pearl, to teach them some social etiquette. But Pearl turns the kidnapping around and soon has those rotten reptiles caught in their own nasty trap. They beg her to help them. They have no idea of table manners at all and they are desperate. Kind Pearl agrees... after all a few manners never go astray. She even agrees to let them kidnap her. When Flinn and the rest of the crew realize she is missing they set sail for Bag O' Bones Island at speed to rescue her (following a trail of floating ketchup bottles). Meanwhile, Pearl is polishing up the pirate dinosaurs' pitiful table manners. A tough but kind teacher, she has them 'Yes please-ing' and 'Miss Pearl-ing' her in no time at all.

'Polish the poopdeck and set the sail for top speed!' cry the goodest goodie pirates as they prepare for another day's adventuring on the high seas! But before they know it the Acorn has run aground! And there's a very good reason for it. The seas are not very high. In fact, somebody has drained the whole ocean! Tom attaches a set of wheels to their ship, and they set sail across the ocean floor to investigate this strange and troubling phenomenon. No surprise, it's Captain T Rex and those baddest baddie pirate dinosaurs behind the whole thing. They have pulled out the plug and drained the sea! Their reasons - to rob all the ships stranded on the ocean floor. Pearl gives them a piece of her pirate mind about the poor fishes who are flapping about on the dry ocean floor, but T Rex is unmoved and unrepentant, he never liked fish anyway. It takes a swashbuckle to teach those rotten reptiles a lesson.

Safe and sound on Bag O' Bones Island after a busy day of pillaging on the Seven-and-a-half Seas, the pirate dinosaurs set aside their cutlasses to play a game of Pirate Badminton (the game of kings and pirates) which is played by bashing your opponent with a badminton racket. But a strange and eerie noise disturbs them. It's coming from the cave where they stashed their stolen booty. Being cowardly pirate dinosaurs, they run away screaming in fear. Meanwhile, Flinn and crew are looking for ways to avoid 'Clean the Ship Day', organized by Pearl. They cleaned the ship last year, after all, protests Tom. But Pearl soon gets them polishing and buffing, mopping and sweeping. Imagine their surprise when they find the pirate dinosaurs hiding in the broom closet, quaking with fear. They are about to throw them overboard when T Rex pleads with them to listen to his story of the ghost of Bag O' Bones Island.

The King requests Captain Flinn and his crew's immediate presence on His Majesty's Royal ship. He tells Flinn that his ship was raided by 'those beastly pirate dinosaurs' who stole his crown, his jewels and his throne. He needs Flinn to catch the pirate dinosaurs and get them back. Suddenly a young pirate makes an attack on Flinn. The King introduces his son as Prince 'useless'. Actually, the kid corrects himself it's Prince Eustace. He patiently explains that these are the 'goodie pirates' and they're going to catch the baddie pirates. Eustace resolves to help them. The King orders that the Prince be locked in his cabin. But lo and behold, the young Prince fires himself from a cannon onto the Acorn. He's here to help. 'How much trouble can a small boy be...?', wonders Flinn. He can stay. But Flinn soon learns exactly how much trouble a small boy can be as Eustace runs amok on the ship, spinning the wheel, swinging from the rigging and generally rocking the boat.

Captain Flinn is ill and retreats below deck, leaving his second-in-command, Violet, at the ship's wheel. Relief Captain Violet could not be more pleased, she'd been waiting for her opportunity to step into this important role for a long time. So when Flinn is cured and takes the wheel back, Violet is devastated. Meanwhile, on Bag O' Bones Island, Terry is auditioning the pirate dinosaurs for roles in his play, the Plundering Pirate and the Princess in Pea Soup. Unfortunately none of them can act - in fact they are as wooden as palm trees - and if Terry had hair he'd be tearing it out. When Violet spies trouble on Bag O' Bones Island, she decides to prove her worth and goes to investigate all by herself. Terry seizes the opportunity and offers her a 'very important role' in his play. Violet accepts happily, until she discovers the important role is for a damsel in distress. Violet is no distressed damsel so she gives the play a quick rewrite and casts herself as Pirate Captain.

The Sea of Excitement is experiencing an unusually calm day, that is, until the Acorn runs aground on an island of stinking seaweed. Unable to get free, Tom invents a 'stinky seaweed sucker-upperer'. It works! That is, until it explodes causing stinky seaweed to spurt all over the Acorn and the crew. Captain Stubble sticks his head out of the galley porthole, sniffs the air, and announces the seaweed could be just the flavour he's been looking for, for his custard. As the kids sit down to dinner and sample the seaweed custard, some strange and silly side-effects soon become apparent. Pearl announces she's feeling light-headed and floats to the ceiling. Flinn tries to rescue her but has completely lost control of his legs. Violet grown a long beard which she keeps tripping over and Tom simply can't stop hiccupping. It's all an effect of the seaweed. Stubble declares he is unaffected, but soon his nose glows a bright green.

It's a slow day on the high seas... that is until the crew hears a pirate cry out in distress. They boldly sail off to save him and discover it's Captain Gurgleguts! Again! This is the third time they have saved him in a week... first from a scary big flower; then from his own shadow; and now he's petrified of a tiny ladybug. It's not even alive. They decide to give the poor distressed pirate 'brave' lessons, but Gurgleguts isn't convinced he can be brave. Flinn gets the ball rolling & demonstrates how to be brave by eating a whole pot of Stubble's fish * vinegar custard. Violet continues the lessons (as Flinn is suddenly taken ill), by showing him how to 'believe in himself' and his ability to disguise himself as a plate of sausages. When that fails and Tom tries to hypnotise Gurgleguts into forgetting his fears. Unfortunately, he only succeeds in hypnotizing Flinn, Pearl and Violet. Gurgleguts has a deep fear of watches and can't even look at one.

Stubble is serving up custard for tea. Again. This time Tom is prepared. He found some rare algae on in the ocean that will neutralize the taste of just about anything. He puts some in his custard bowl, but when Stubble appears again he fumbles and his whole bowl of custard (with algae) lands in Flinn's Captain's hat. Flinn puts it on. All goes well until Flinn notices his hat is stuck fast to his head. It seems that type of algae, mixed with custard, turns into a very strong glue when it sets. Tom tries various solutions to remove Flinn's hat, which get more and more complicated, but none of them work. Flinn may never get his hat off again! Finally Tom fires Flinn from the cannon with a rope tied to his hat. After this fails Flinn declares he's decided to keep his hat on. They are interrupted by Gurgleguts sobbing.

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The pirate dinosaurs are dressing Terry the Pterodactyl in a bird suit. They plan to trick Captain Flinn and his crew. On the Acorn it's time to test the cannons, so the kids load them up with apples. After all, a hundred apples a day keeps the pirate dinosaurs away! KABOOM! The cannons are in perfect working order, and sticky apple sauce rains down on the crew except for Pearl who dressed in clothes from the dress up box to protect herself. Suddenly a huge bird lands on the deck with a THUD! It claims to have been shot down by their cannon fire. Tom is immediately suspicious that a bird knows how to talk, but the bird claims albatrosses are highly intelligent. Tom is even more suspicious that it doesn't have a drop of apple sauce on it, but the bird starts a wailing and a moaning theatrically. It's been injured! Pearl feels responsible and they all help nurse the poor creature back to health.

A game of pirate swashbuckling practice on the Acorn is interrupted by Captain Gurgleguts' sobbing. He claims to have lost his pirate mojo! His swashbuckling pirate bravery. Violet whispers that Gurgleguts never had any pirate mojo. They all nod. Gurgleguts claims that his most precious treasure, a giant pearl, was stolen from him and the thief was none other than the great white beast of the Seven-and-a-half Seas - Moby Clam! The kids all laugh. They think Moby Clam is just an old pirate tale. Captain Flinn makes a rousing call to action: 'Jolly the Rogers and polish the poop deck!' They're off to get Gurgleguts treasure back. They are the 'goodest-goodies' after all. He asks Gurgleguts where Moby Clam lives, but the scardey-pirate can't even think about clams without getting scared. Tom hypnotises him to help him remember. Finally Gurgleguts does remember: 'You don't ever find Moby Clam. Moby Clam finds you!'

There's a serious awards ceremony being conducted in the town of Sea Shanty. Flinn and his crew step forward to accept an award... for the bravest pirates on the Seven-and-a-half Seas! But Pearl, who is usually most well mannered, bursts out giggling at the Mayor. She says she can't help it. Soon they are all giggling uncontrollably, even the Mayor. As soon as they regain their seriousness, they all start sobbing. They leave the stage, sniffling and blowing their noses, determined to find out what is causing all this uncontrolled emotion. They consult the Big Book of Pirate Facts and discover they've caught the dreaded triple curse. The triple curse is only released if the statues of the Crying Crier, the Giggling Giggler and the Dancing Dancer are stolen from the Temple of the Cursed Curses on Bag O' Bones Island. Everyone will giggle, cry and dance uncontrollably until they are returned. It sounds like those meddling meddlers, the pirate dinosaurs have been up to their tricks again!

It's pirate washing day and the rotten reptile pirate dinosaurs are all hard at work washing their clothes. T Rex is in a rage. He's wearing a barrel. His crew has shrunk his clothes and he can't wear the barrel to defend his title at the noughts and crosses championship that night. This calls for a kidnapping! Meanwhile, Flinn and crew are all washing their clothes, but Flinn is being unusually coy about his washing, asking the others to look away, and hanging them out to dry below deck. Tom fishes a message in a bottle from the ocean. It's a plea for help from Gurgleguts. He has given up pirating (again) and taken up a new occupation as a tailor and the pirate dinosaurs have kidnapped him to sew T Rex some new clothes. He's frightened! Flinn declares they must save him and they set a course for the Sea of Adventure! Hurrah! But lightening strikes and burns their sails, stopping them in their tracks. Tom pulls another distress call out from the sea.

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T Rex has a special delivery. It's a new plank from Plankity Planks - prime planks for picky pirates. T Rex sings the praises of the new plank. This prestigious plank will mark them as the premier pirates of the Seven-and-a-half Seas! But they need a pirate to test it out on. Dippy volunteers, but as T Rex points out that as plank walking is a one-way trip to the bottom of the sea, it is for their ENEMIES! So they kidnap Captain Stubble. At first the kids are relieved that no more horrible custard appears on their table, but soon they wonder where he is. He's been kidnapped and they must rescue him. This calls for some very tricky tricking from the pipsqueak pirates. When Flinn swings onto the dino's vessel the rotten reptiles have Stubble on the plank and are chanting 'WALK! WALK! WALK!' Flinn tells them that they're doing the plank walking all wrong. They'll never be able to claim their moment of glory if they have the plank upside down.

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Captain Flinn and his crew visit the village of Sea Shanty for a bout of shore leave only to discover that Captain Flinn is wanted by the law and there is a huge reward from his capture - five squillion doubloons. He laughs it off - thinking someone is pulling his wooden leg. The village is plastered with wanted posters bearing Captain Flinn's picture. The townsfolk come after him for the reward. The Goodest Goodies have no choice but to return to the Acorn and set sail for the middle of nowhere - the only place they will be safe from avaricious townsfolk. They can't cast off because Stubble is shovelling 50 tonnes of custard on to the ship. Stubble shovels like a mad man, getting his beloved custard below deck in a jiffy. Just when they thought they were out of harm's way, a balloon flying bounty hunter swoops in and lasso's Captain Flinn. Before the Bounty Hunter can haul off the fearless pirate, another Bounty hunter jumps on deck to claim the Captain for herself.

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Tom invents the 'Refridgi-mador' designed to cool drinks, but it does too good a job and freezes their drinks, glass and all, into blocks of ice. Tom tightens one of the screws on his machine and it slips on the deck, falling into the sea - freezing it solid. The pirate dinosaurs capitalise on this and plunder all of the ships stranded in the icy sea.

During a fierce storm, Captain Flinn rescues a crew of fellow pirates but he is not behaving like himself at all - instead of helping, he steals their treasure. It's those dastardly dinosaurs disguised as Captain Flinn and his crew! Meanwhile, on the Acorn, Flinn spots a ship flying a distress flag off Bag O' Bones Island. They set sail on a rescue mission but the rescuee's are reluctant to let Captain Flinn help. They are afraid they he will rob them again. Suddenly the King's ship rams them and the King's men board the Acorn. They arrest Captain Flinn and his crew for stealing. They have had many reports of a ship flying Captain Flinn's flag rescuing good folk and then stealing their treasure. Flinn and his crew and hauled off and thrown into the bilge on the King's ship for the 3 week journey back to shore. When the bilge is flooded with water, they decide to send out an SOS to those 'Jurassic Jugheads', promising them riches to rescue them.

Captain Stubble is upset. He's lost his best wooden spoon. He uses it to stir the custard. This is a disaster because it means no more custard, he tells them. The kids are in a dilemma. Do they help Stubble find his spoon, or enjoy eating other food for a change? Being the 'goodest goodies' they choose to help their poor cook. With Tom's latest invention, an electromagnetic finder-iser, they set sail in the direction it points and soon CRASH into another ship. There's nobody on board. It's a ghost ship. Stubble quickly disappears below deck in search of his spoon, and the goodest goodies set off to find him. They pass through a series of empty rooms, each seems to be exactly the same as the one before, and it starts to feel like they will never get out. Tom thinks they have landed on the legendary Bermuda Ship. It's a ship with a maze of magic rooms. And where everything ever lost at sea ends up. Bad news is that nobody has EVER got out of the Bermuda Ship.

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The 'goodest goodies' are mid swashbuckle with those rotten rascals the pirate dinosaurs. T Rex is about to force them off a cliff into the sea, which today is infested with... sea ferrets! But Flinn and his crew make a tricky escape by sending a sea of custard their way. All except for Pearl, who sees that Dippy is about to slide off the cliff, and saves her. Later that day the kids are surprised when Dippy boards the Acorn, and it looks like she's there to stay. She tells them that Pirate code states that she must repay Pearl's good deed by saving her. And she's going to stay until she does. Tom confirms it in his Big Book of Piratey Facts. Pearl thinks it's very nice and very polite too. What harm can it do? But they soon learn exactly what harm, when Dippy gets in everybody's way... saving Pearl when she doesn't need saving; tasting her custard to see if it's poison and saving her from 'walk the plank' practice.

Captain Flinn and his fearless crew are in town for the Shanty Town Cup - which is awarded to the fastest and most shipshape ship in the Seven-and-a-half Seas. Tom calculates that the Acorn is the fastest ship there is, but the pirate dinosaurs don't agree - and Captain T Rex has a trophy room full of trophies to prove it. Pearl points out that his trophy haul is so big because he is such a big cheater. The gauntlet is thrown and both teams enter the race. Tom has a new invention to combat any cheating from Captain T Rex. It's called the "Cheater Beater". It picks up the signs of cheating - like pulling funny faces and winking - and shoots a rope out towards the cheating party, tying them up. The rest of the crew is not convinced it's a fool-proof invention, so they decide to give it a test run on unsuspecting Stubble who is pretending to scrub the deck with custard, secretly saving the custard for dinner. The Cheater Beater works a treat, wrapping Stubble in rope.

Captain Flinn and his crew are invited by the King to participate in the first annual 'Pirate Do A Good Deed Day'. The pirate dinosaurs are also invited. By the last challenge Captain Flinn's crew and the pirate dinosaurs are the only remaining teams. They are charged with saving Gurgleguts from shark-infested waters, but a tug of war ensues, ripping Gurgleguts' dinghy apart.

Flinn and his crew are playing a squeeze-box and dancing the whale dance aboard the Acorn - the dance guides whales as they migrate for winter. The pirate dinosaurs hate music, especially squeeze-box music. They storm the Acorn but the goodest goodies are too tired from the sweltering heat to swashbuckle. The dinos steal the Acorn then steal all the squeeze-boxes across the Seven-and-a-half Seas.

Captain Flinn and his crew have come across the most important map in the known and unknown world - The Master Map - but the corner is missing. They sail off checking all of the landmarks noted on the map. Bag O' Banana's Island is first. It's just where the map says it should be. They come under attack from some cheeky monkeys who hurl bananas at them. Pearl is thankful for the tasty snack. Captain Flinn retaliates with some of Stubble's custard. The monkeys are fans of Stubble's custard. The Acorn sails on and hits very rough seas. They are approaching the Bermuda Triangle. The Acorn is sucked into its powerful vortex. Flinn and his crew hang on for dear life. Tom consults to Big Book of Piratey Facts to find a way out but it flies out of his grasp before he read a word. They latch onto a blue whale swimming nearby and hitch a ride out of the dangerous Triangle. It's a very bumpy ride. They sail on and come to the missing corner of the map. They have sailed into nothingness!

Stubble is daydreaming about being a fearsome pirate captain and lamenting that this is just a pipe dream. Captain Flinn and his crew feel sorry for Stubble. As they do King Neptune's ship arrives. He is half man, half fish and all legend - the most powerful seafarer in the Seven-and-a-half Seas. When the ship moves closer to the Acorn, Flinn realises that it's not King Neptune at all - it's that rotten reptile Captain T Rex in a poorly constructed King Neptune costume. He's collecting fake taxes like "peg leg tax" from poor unsuspecting pirates. Tom notices that the crown on T Rex's head looks suspiciously like the real thing. Avast! Flinn jumps on T Rex to grab the crown so that he can give it back to the real Neptune, but the other pirates looking on think T Rex is the real Neptune and Flinn is a thief. They attack Flinn. Pearl has an idea - she gives Stubble a King Neptune makeover. The dumb dinos panic at the sight of Stubble as King Neptune - they think he is the real thing.

The Acorn is becalmed... sailing straight for the 'Sea of Nowhere'! Blowing into the sails is no help, so Tom invents his greatest invention yet, a steam-powered paddle wheel to make the Acorn go without wind. 'Swash my buckle backwards, Tom,' cries Flinn. 'You're a genius!' Unfortunately while it does make the ship go, it doesn't go very fast. That it until Tom adds Stubble's custard as fuel. Meanwhile, the pirate dinosaur vessel is also going nowhere fast. Flinn ZOOMS past them on his new 'Super Ship'! T Rex doesn't care how it's going so fast, he just wants it. The kids pluck a message in a bottle from the sea. It's a cry for help from the pirate dinosaurs. When they arrive they are begging for help because their ship is sinking. The 'goodest goodies' do the right thing and let the rotten reptiles board the Acorn. Of course when they do, the do-badders push them overboard. The Super Ship is now theirs.

A walloping wind is blowing. 'Ships Ahoy!' cries Violet. There are a dozen ships on the horizon and Gurgleguts is waving at them from the deck of one. Flinn's crew thinks it's a party so they set sail for merriment, but it's a pirate dinosaur trap! Flinn orders their immediate retreat but T Rex commands 'Begone wind!' and the wind drops, leaving the Acorn completely unable to sail away. T Rex would like to take credit for controlling the wind but he admits that it's really Old Man Wind, the source of all wind on the Seven-and-a-half Seas. And the rotten reptiles have him captive! T Rex explains that old Man Wind has helped them gather all these ships into one convenient location and now they're going to loot and pillage them one-by-one. A swashbuckle ensues and the goodest goodies win. Flinn demands the tricksters surrender. But on T Rex's orders Old Man Wind blows them all over. Tom can't understand why Old Man Wind would help the pirate dinosaurs.

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Terry receives a delivery, a 'Teach Yourself Hypnotism' course. It advises him to choose someone stupid, as they are more likely to be hypnotized. The hypnotism fails on a monkey but it inadvertently works on Dippy, so Terry makes her his maid. This gives T Rex a deviously dastardly idea. Meanwhile, on the Acorn, the kids are sitting down to a meal of curried custard pies when a message in a bottle floats up. It's an invitation from the pirate dinosaurs to a magic show. Tom suspects a trick. Flinn agrees, but is prepared to take the risk if it means he doesn't have to eat his curried custard pie. On Bag O' Bones Island, the magic show begins. Terry calls for a volunteer to be hypnotized. T Rex pushes all four of the 'goodest goodies' up to Terry. Tom's glasses fall of so only Flinn, Violet and Pearl get hypnotized. They agree to do whatever T Rex says, and he says to: 'Steal treasure!' Tom raises the alarm, it IS a trap! Stig quickly ties him up and gags him.